Freaky Foolproof Pie Crust

I don't use the word "freaky" lightly, this is a seriously strange process that I picked up in an issue of Cook's Illustrated which is published by America's Test Kitchen. They're serious food geeks who guarantee their recipes because they break everything down to the actual physical and chemical laws that apply to food prep. FOR EXAMPLE... Foolproof Pie Crust (I'll cop to adding the Freaky to the title of the recipe). They took a look at what characteristics marked a perfect pie crust: light, flaky etc. and, through exhaustive trial and error (think thousands of pies in thousands of permutations of shortening, flour, water) they isolate and maximize them.

Sorry, I really don't mean to sound like I'm selling them, I just found the process fascinating because we all kind of do that when we cook, we make mental notes of things to try differently "the next time I make it": cook the roux a little longer, maybe add another egg, try it with ham instead of bacon. They just do it again immediately. It's just kind of obsessive and cool. I used to have a subscription to their magazine but it took forever by mail and most of the time it was in the stores before I had received my copy so I risked the occasional missed issue in exchange for buying them on demand.

Enough babbling. On to the weirdness.

2 1/2 c sifted flour
1 t salt
2 T sugar
1 1/2 sticks cold unsalted butter cut into 1" pieces
1/2 c cold vegetable shortening cut into 1" pieces
1/4 c cold vodka
1/4 c cold water

Yeah, did you notice that? Process 1 1/2 c flour, salt and sugar in a food processor until combined. Add the butter and shortening and process it until it's a homogenous paste, (I mentioned weird, right?) about 15 seconds. Scrape down the bowl to distribute the grout, I mean, dough evenly around the bowl and add the remaining flour. Pulse it 4-6 times until the dough is broken up.

Sprinkle the vodka and water over the dough and, yes, it will seem like a ridiculous amount. Fold the water in with a spatula, pressing down until all of the liquid is absorbed and it's tacky and sticks together. Divide it in half. Flatten each into a 4" disk, wrap in plastic and put in the fridge for 45 min-2 days.

Definitely weird enough to try so I put it all together about 3 or 4 days ago and the dough has been sitting in my fridge ever since. I wasn't sure if it would work so I used a canned cherry pie filling (although Meag found a pit in her piece). I would recommend rolling the crust between two pieces of plastic wrap because it seriously feels like playdough (although pinching the crust and making a fancy edge was ridiculously easy because of this). This recipe made enough for a 8" pie with enough left over for probably a half dozen tart shells if I was inclined to make them (I'm not and the dough actually fell into my cast iron pan so...). did a simple egg wash and threw it into the oven at 350F for 15 minutes. Wrapped some foil around the edge of the crust and cooked it for another 20-25 minutes.

The final result? I will draw your attention to the flakes that are sprinkled liberally across the (slightly regrettable) filling. Even the bottom crust is well cooked, not soggy at all. Freaky, I tell you.

I was skeptical about this right up until I put the first bite of the edge into my mouth and felt it melt. Now I would probably put this crust up against any other that I've tried. I hope you're curious enough to try it, in fact, I dare you. That's right, I dare you to try it.

Red Velvet Cake

I found a low fat version of this somewhere else but I didn't think that this one was particularly high fat for a cake so... I used this one because it was a little weird.

2 1/2 c flour
2 T cocoa powder
1 1/2 t baking powder
1 t salt
1/2 c softened butter
1 1/2 c sugar
2 eggs
1 1/2 t Wilton No-Taste Red Icing Colour
1 t vanilla
1 c buttermilk
2 T water
1 1/2 t white vinegar
1 t baking soda

Cream butter and sugar till light and fluffy. Add eggs (I added an extra egg to a double batch), vanilla, and colour till evenly coloured. Sift dry together and add alternately with the buttermilk to the butter (Hint: end with the dry, you get a better crumb). Add the water to the mix.

Mix vinegar and baking soda in a small bowl and gently stir into the batter. Spoon into prepped pans (will fill about 20 cupcakes or a 10" round) and cook at 350F until passes the toothpick test. 20-22 minutes for cupcakes, 35-40 for cake. Cool in pan for 5-10 and then turn out and cool completely.

Pulled Pork with Root Beer Sauce

I know that this sounds really weird but I've tested it during multiple meals with many people and it always gets rave reviews. I have to confess that I don't usually tell anyone that it's got root beer as the main ingredient until after the good reviews start coming in. It'll feed a fair number of people and there is usually leftovers the next day. The official recipe yield is 12.

1 T olive oil (whatever, I use as much as I need)
3 lb boneless pork loin roast
2 t salt
1/2 t pepper (I use significantly more than this)
1/2 c chopped onion
3 c root beer (NOT diet, ever, it just doesn't work)
12 oz bottle of chili sauce (or 455 ml for those of us living in civilized countries)
1/2 t salt
12 sandwich buns

Brown roast in olive oil. Place in crockpot with salt, pepper, onion and 1 c of root beer. Cover and cook on low for about 7 hours (roughly).

30 minutes before serving (but can be done more in advance), bring remaining root beer, all of the chili sauce and the last little bit of salt to a boil in a saucepan. Reduce the heat and simmer until it's glassy and reduced to about 2 1/2-3 cups of sauce.

Remove the pork from the slow cooker and shred with two forks. Put all the little bits of pork into the sauce and stir until it's all juicy and coated. Serve about 1/2 cup of pork on each bun (or as much as you can cram on there).

That's it, that's all.