BROWNIES : GUILT BY ASSOCIATION

I have faithfully been making these brownies off the side of the Frys cocoa tin for several years now and I'd never really bothered to change up the recipe very much - why fix what is decidedly un-broken? However last night I decided to make things a little more interesting...with whole hazelnuts and way too much time on my hands, the kitchen was my oyster. Even if I dont like oysters.

1 1/3 c. flour
1 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt
1 c. butter
1 c. cocoa
2 c. sugar
4 eggs
1 1/2 tsp. vanilla
preferred nuts

Prehead your oven to 350. OR DIE TRYING.

I. Stir together flour, baking powder and salt in a large bowl. Meanwhile, melt butter in a large saucepan.
II. When liquid, remove from heat and add cocoa. Mix untill no lumps remain. Stir in sugar and eggs, one at a time. (I don't know what it was, but 4 eggs seemed somehow rediculous so I substituted the last egg for an egg-sized lump of apple sauce. It occured to me later that I could have done that instead of the TWO CUPS of sugar, but genius is a lazy bitch.)
III. Add the vanilla and pour into the flour mix, bit by bit so you don't get those dreaded flour-pockets at the bottom. Pour into a pan and toss in whatever nuts you desire. Mix about and then bake for ~40 minutes.
(Check it at 30. For some reason I put them in for 25 the first time around and it actually jiggled when I picked up the pan, so I sent it back for another 15. They were crunchy around the edges but still gooey and sticky on the bottoms. That's more like it.)

ps. I also ended up making a video about them on YouTube. You can check it out here.
-->http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKY0K3SOJKM

Tror du att kärlek är som sångerna vi...baka?

Vackert / Cakesters

(For those of you who aren't in with the Swedish language, le titre reads "Do you think love is like the songs we...bake?". Stay tuned to find out why!)

I don't actually know where this recipe came from. Like countless other white sheets of printer paper scrawled upon with marker and/or crayon, it must have been copied down while I was at the computer. If that works as a good prelude for the quality of these cookies (Small cakes? Gâtettes?!), then you're on the right track. The only clue I'd left for myself was the word "Vackert", Swedish for "Beautiful", which had been crossed out and a new title, "CAKESTERS" had been scribbled in green crayola. Beautiful? Hm. These must taste good. So, on a boring Saturday, my boyfriend Daniel and I rolled up our sleeves are prepared to taste beauty.

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the.crust
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2 eggs, beaten
1 c. of veg. oil

3 c. flour

1. t baking soda
8 T cocoa
2 c. brown sugar

1 t salt

1 c. milk

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the.filling

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1 c. shortening
1 1/3 c. milk
2 c. confectioners sugar

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and.here's.the.poop
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{{{ HAY YOU! THIS IS FOR THE CRUST! }}}
I. Preheat yer oven to a balmy 350c.
II. Sift all of your dry ingi's together in what will be your master bowl.
III. In a smaller bowl, add all your "wet" ingi's together.
IV. Pour together and grab yourself a good old fashioned wooden spoon. None of that fancy "stand mixer" crap, no sirree. (Kay fine. Use your stand mixers.)
V. Letter' rip until smooth as the cats pyjamas. It should be a vaguely cookie like consistency, if memory serves.
VI. Drop onto a cookie sheet about the size of half a doughnut rolled into like, a ball. (I actually had to sit and think about the size for awhile and this was the best thing I could come up with. Seriously guys.) ...or slightly smaller than a hockey puck. Remember, two of these makes one cookie - so make them thin. (Top + bottom, like a hamburger.)
VII. Give those suckers some hot hot love for anywhere from 5 -7 minutes and let cool on a wire rack. We want these to be crispy and NOT soft at all.

OOoh yeaaah - Step one? COMPLETE. Give yourself a big pat on the back and a run round' the block because these babies are...well. Did you even read the ingredients?

{{{ ALRIGHT NOW LETS GET THAT FILLING DONE! }}}

I. Um...Mix it all together until one solid, creamy blob. I suppose if you were feeling sexy and rebellious, you could add some coconut, sprinkles (Danny squealed like a tiny Japanese schoolgirl, so we added rainbow-balls.) or food-dye, if you're into that sort of thing.

{{{ 1 + 1 = ...3??!! }}}

I. So, just like a hamburger, assemble as such. Only this time around, its a hamburger made of cake. Crust on the bottom, filling, crust on the top. Lather, rinse, repeat.

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the.finish-line
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Well, we had the infallible equation of "small chocolate cakes" + "filling" = "Oh god. I need new pants." going for us, but sadly for the indomitable kitchen duo of Danny and Kato, math is dumb. Vakert/Cakesters taught us that EVERYTHING WE KNOW IS WRONG. They were incredibly rich and addictive...but just not. very. good. We haven't made them since, but maybe with a bit of tweaking, they might put stupid math back in its stupid place.

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~ stay fresh everyone. Until next time. ~
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